Before the media caravan moves on to fresh pastures, let’s give the man his due. Whoops – I seem to have given Iain Duncan Smith a comedy moustache by accident!

“Get a proper suit and straighten your tie”, says the Tory politician…..footballers with short back ‘n sides and baggy shorts ….. flat caps in fashion…..right-wing parties on the rise across Europe – remind you of anything?

….can change the world, said someone vaguely famous. Or start to change it.

Do we really need airport expansion? For the sake of the planet – no!

This group of activists have highlighted the complete contradiction in our aims as a society to limit our emissions from fossil fuels – thus limiting climate change – and our actions and policies in continuing to press for expansion of the highly-polluting, subsidised aviation industry. It’s not a case of denying pleasure  – 70% of UK flights are taken by just 15% of the flying public.

If you are travelling abroad or going abroad to live, beware: don’t fall in love unless you have a solid job. Don’t let chance or luck fool you – you will rue the consequences, my friend. You need an income of at least £18,600 to be allowed to bring your foreign (non-EU) spouse to live in the UK. If you have kids, you’ll need around another £2000 per child.

The Bard of Glastonbury is among those affected – he has an American wife (what was he thinking?).

Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

This week’s news: on Mars, Shane Warne is elected President. Meanwhile, here on planet Earth, UK politicians decided not to take up a suggestion that could save the taxpayer £80,000 a year. They decided to continue the age-old tradition of recording legislation on vellum (calfskin parchment). So I’ve written a song about it….

I think every vegetarian gets sick at some point of having to justify their choice – so here is a justification in three rock ‘n roll verses.

What with the EU referendum possibly coming up this year and the whole debate on EU membership a constant background hiss, I have realised that what we need to create a sense of European unity is a good old anthem to stir the emotions. A few years ago I wrote a version of what I hoped in time would replace “Ode to Joy” – but obviously not enough people got to hear it in those pre-online music days . Never mind – here is my anthem, in eleven languages. Sing along with it and see if you can get your fellow citizens to join in with you.

I didn’t make a New Year’s Resolution this year – but if I had, it would have been to try to write a satirical song about the news every week. Now I write it, that sounds like a very specific resolution – but then so is giving up smoking. So I have belatedly started this challenge this week – and, just like a flood in Cumbria, the songs have rushed out and threatened to overwhelm me (see my other posts).

Yesterday I sat at my laptop and surveyed the Grauniad website as usual. There was a story about the different ways different papers have reported Our Leader’s magnanimous gesture to allow some orphaned kids into the country – on condition they leave quickly without claiming any benefits – with a comparison of the front pages of the Grauniad and the Male, which displayed below its banner a teaser for a story in its Female section entitled “You can never fancy a man who becomes a house-husband”, showing a sad-looking guy wearing a stupid apron. As a former house-husband myself (and I still do spend most of my time at home) I can vouch for the great time I had bringing up my kids – and of all my friends bar possibly one I seemed to be having the best sex-life. So there with brass balls on…. here is the song:  “The Man in the Apron“.

It’s still in the news, so I have made my position crystal clear in this song.

Thinking about it some more, maybe we need a People’s Taxman – have a look at this: Petition for People’s Taxman.